The Soccer Mom Mystique

I am a Soccer Mom. For 5 1/4 seasons I have held this title (among others) along with millions of other moms around the world. And to those in the world who aren't Soccer Moms... there is this air of mystery about those of us who are. It's like all those anti-Soccer Moms out there are wondering how the hell they can avoid meeting the same fate. "My kid plays Little League and I spend all my time driving Davy to his games and practices, but at least I'm not a Soccer Mom (shudder)". Or even more frequently: "I'm never having kids because there's no way I'm going to ever be one of those!" Being a Soccer Mom is now as big of a cliche as being an 80's Yuppie in the world of the 2K-oughts. I know that sounds melodramatic, but think about it for a minute. Even I remember thoughts like these passing through my brain at various points in my life. I had similar thoughts about mini-vans. And yet, here I am.

There seems to be this idea that the woman whose kid plays soccer somehow lacks the feminine mystique, the je ne sais quoi, that other women possess (or at least think they possess). What we seem to represent is the total sellout to convention and old-fashioned expectations of women and mothers. We (apparently) cannot possibly be a Soccer Mom and still maintain the image of What We Used to Be. Take as an example a recent commercial for the Nissan Quest (I think it was). The bottom line was "if you want to be the cool soccer mom on the team, you need this car". As if there's no way you could achieve any level of hip-ness without it. Stifler's mom you are not.

And why is that? What's wrong with us Soccer Moms that women dread the day that they will be initiated into the fold, rather than enjoying the fact that soccer is (usually) fun for our kids and great for their bodies and minds? Heck, you might be nurturing the next David Beckham or Mia Hamm. Okay, probably not, but even if you're not... you're obviously a cool mom because you care enough about your kid that you are willing to be one of those in order to broaden his or her horizons. Doesn't that count for anything? It totally counts. And I have bad news for those of you who believe that you aren't One Of Us, just because your kid plays baseball or plays in the band or runs track or does drama.

The truth is that it doesn't matter what activity your kid does. If you are a devoted follower of that activity and your child's Number One Fan, you are a Soccer Mom. Soccer was just lucky enough to be picked as the activity to label the so-called "cliche" mom. Probably because most of us in White-Picket-Fence-ville have kids who have or will have played soccer at some point in their lives. It's the American way, right?

I think there's something about the Soccer Mom which elevates her to the next level in the parenting corporate structure. It's like getting promoted from mail clerk to mail manager or something like that. There's nothing wrong with being a mail manager and there's nothing wrong with being a Soccer Mom. As a Soccer Mom, you get to watch your kid do something that truly doesn't involve you. You can cheer them on from the sidelines, which as parents, we should do through the whole of their lives right? It's a step in the right direction... the way you want your kids to go. To live and play, with you right off to the side screeching encouragement. That's the way it should be...

We're all Soccer Moms.