Long Time No See

It's been a long time since my last post... Sorry to all two of my devoted fans. It sounds so cliche, but the plain truth of the matter is that it's been crazy busy for the last 5 days or so. I know I don't have the monopoly on a busy life, but I beg your understanding anyway. The comedy that is MY life continues. And it's not going to get any better for the next few days at least, but in the interest of not going an entire week without a post, here I am.

Here are some highlights from the last week:

Wednesday, May 30th I attempted to volunteer in Sporty's second grade class. Attempted is the operative word, because I was forced to take Baby with me (due to an overwhelming dearth of babysitting availability), and she refused to sit still. So I spent 15 minutes chasing her around the 2nd and 3rd grade Pod while I was supposed to be listening to the children read to me, before I threw in the towel and asked the teacher to be excused. After that, I took Posh and Baby on the preschool field trip to our local farm park. We picnicked in the 87 degree sun and walked through the barns and finally went on an exceedingly sweaty wagon ride through the park:


Hot as Hades on the wagon ride. It was fun, but ay caramba!

On to: Thursday, May 31st: Happy Birthday Mom (my mom not me)! Relatively quiet, except for the mad cleaning burst getting ready for the arrival of Chris's parents for a long weekend visit... oh and an evening sit for a friend. I actually had a chance to get some reading in. YAY! So, I guess really only that part was quiet. The rest was a little desperate.

Friday, June 1st: Rabbits, rabbits rabbits! Drop off at school, pick up at school... visit, visit, visit (not complaining... this was very nice!)... desperate trip to the mall (notice the theme?) to find a bathing suit that actually fit, for a pool party on Saturday. I found one, but if I tell you what I had to pay for it, you'll die, so I won't. Fast forward to evening: Stamping meeting... very fun new project. Seriously it was just what I needed to re-motivate myself in my stamping doldrums. I've been so unmotivated to stamp anything... it ends up falling into the same category as this blog. Something I love to do, but always set on the back burner. Bummer.

Saturday, June 2nd: Woke up completely crabby. Sorry to all and sundry who had to put up with me for the day. Blush. I do reserve the right sometimes to be a crank, but I always feel like a heel afterwards. Stupid hormones. Anyway... part of the reason I was so crabby was because I had to drag all three kids to the soccer field by myself. Not so heinous, but I hardly ever have to do it, so I was sort of bummed about it. And it was hot again. Been there, done that, soaked a tshirt. And I felt guilty for not wanting to do it, because plenty of mommies do it all the time and really I'm very spoiled in that regard. But I still reserve the right to be crabby about it. The game went well. Sporty made a few good moves, and Posh and Baby ran around with all the other tag-along siblings. All in all it went pretty well... then the coach declared that he had seen not one but TWO ice cream passes (pass pass goal) and he promised to buy all the girls an ice cream. Very sweet of him... but that left bitchy me in a little pickle. No lunch yet... three whiny girls... and a sugar rush. Oh well. Off to the frozen custard place we went. We ended up milling around for about 15 minutes because the place wasn't opened yet. That good old desperation started to kick in a little again. Finally we got in there and everyone got their ice cream... except Her Highness, Baby Spice, who threw a fit when I tried to put the ice cream in her mouth. Oh well.

That afternoon we went to a very lovely pool party for Chris's sister's boyfriend's birthday. His parents had kindly agreed to host it at their home, where they have a beautiful pool.



We all had a great time... a few minor injuries aside. The last injury brought back our old friend Mr. Crank, but can you really blame me? Baby could have gotten a concussion. Enough said, as there was no concussion. But, I was very grateful for my nice soft bed that night, let me tell you.

Sunday, June 3rd:

Rain. And rain. And more rain. Probably just as well. We had a nice quiet day in the house, except that Sporty got to go to a birthday party for her friend from school. The whole day was nice, because it was so laaaaaaaazzzzzzyyy, and then in the evening, Chris and I got to (drumroll, please).... go to the movies. I almost feel like I have to whisper that phrase. It sounds like sacrilege to my ears. For a pair of people who used to go to the movies at least once a week, this once a year thing really sucks! Thank you, Chris's parents for taking charge of the girls for us while we saw POTC: At World's End. Very confusing sometimes, but extremely funny and ahhhh yes... the eye candy was worth the three hour tour (for both of us, I think). The ship wrecked a little at the end (SPOILER ALERT) when my eye candy had to walk into the sea for a 10 year tour aboard the Flying Dutchman. What a waste of pure male yumminess~ ferrying the dead to the Other Side. There better be a sequel. I'm (still) feeling a little verklempt about it. Waaaaaahhhhh.

So, now that you can see for yourself that I wasn't any busier than you (only whinier about it)... the saga-of-an-excuse as to why I have been MIA is done. Hopefully things will go better this week. Wink. Later alligator.

Would You Like a Little Rash With That Whine?

Juniper bushes are not very nice. The only good thing I can say about them is that they are the great-uncle of my favorite spirit, Gin. We have a gin-ormous monstrosity of a juniper bush in our front yard. It is at least seven feet tall, twenty feet long and about ten feet wide. I think it's meant to block the lights from oncoming car traffic, but it's hideous and I have always hated it. And I hate it even more now.

I was very proud of myself. Every year, I pay this company a gawd-awful sum of money to come and turn on the in-ground sprinkler system. Then I pay them another gawd-awful sum to drain it at the end of the season. Well... I've watched them turn it on enough times, that I figured "why pay them $100.00 to turn on a water switch and kick the dirt divits off the tops of the sprinkler heads when I can do it myself?" So I did it, with great success. Pat on the back.

Cue the stupid smelly juniper bush. The bloody thing had gotten so big it grew over the top of one of the sprayer heads and was completely blocking the spray. It's probably been like that for a couple of years and I never noticed because it's on the other side of the bush from the house. Did I say yet what a stupid bush it is?

I pulled out the clippers (which are actually meant to be wire cutters, but we've adopted them for branch trimming), and started trimming branches. And trimming. And getting sprayed. (why not turn off the water?~ you may well wonder: I wanted to see what branches needed trimming~ smooth move, eh?) But back to the story. I was trimming. And trimming. And (ouch) getting prickers in my hand (gardening gloves? Who needs 'em?) And trimming.

I now have a rash all over my hands and arms from the bush's prickers... and an only moderately unblocked sprinkler head. I am about to itch myself to death. Argghhh! Did I say I hate that bush? I'll give you $100.00 if you come and cut the thing down for me.

And yes, I am aware that the rash is all my fault. But it doesn't matter, because (and did I mention?) I hate that bush so it's automatically the bush's fault. The rash is probably the bush's payback for talking smack about it.

Now, please excuse me while I go and scratch myself silly.